Daverocks

You're still here?

2007-12-21T12:06:00.000-08:00

Before I was so rudely interrupted ...
And we're back.
It's been a while since the last post so why not return with an inside joke. A bit of an homage, shall we shay, to the people who've helped make sure I didn't give up on achieving my goals, no matter how many pinheads stood in the way.
It's been an interesting past few months, to say the least, but my years of slogging uphill both ways in the snow with no shoes appear to be over.
Sunny times are afoot, so to speak, and life is starting to resemble the sweet beach of my dreams ...
Ashton Kutcher couldn't have planned a more elaborate twist of events than the ones I've seen since June.
In Bizarro Jerry fashion, days after leaving one of the worst gigs I've had yet (and I've seen some crap in my days) a phone call came out of the blue offering me the job I've been slogging 10 years for.
It was weird enough that there's a good chance the CIA was involved.
An interesting sidenote for conspiracy theory fans, The Bizarro Jerry episode originally aired on my 21st birthday, coincidence ... or not? someone call George Noory

Morning Sunshine

2007-06-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

I'm no expert on the migratory patterns of scruffy, homeless people, but I'm starting the think my front steps are smack dab in the middle of a good route.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact our dumpster is better-stocked than most thrift stores or they're drawn by the sweet, sweet smell of burning herbs, but for whatever reason, I've had to call the cops on no less than three occasion this week.
Take Sleeping Beauty (above) who decided my front steps was the perfect spot for a mid-afternoon nap. Him and his buddy rolled up and bedded down for a quick bit of shut-eye, but not before spitting about 300 times and hiding an empty bottle of rice wine. His accomplice left before the fuzz arrived and was still at large at the time of this post.
A few days before this incident, Andy and I arrived home to find four meth-heads sitting on those same steps smoking up and they were as entertaining as they were disease-ridden. Of course, one of the "ladies" didn't want to leave because "as you can see I have a broken ankle and we're waiting for a ride."
i was surpised how articulate she was, given the fact she was doing the tell-tale meth-dance and looking everywhere but at me.
But that's nothing compared to what happened about 3 a.m. on Tuesday.
I heard a loud bang, then looked out to see two, greasy looking guys brawling with a dude whose look can be summed up in two words -- club kid.
And by brawling, I mean they had their belts off and were whipping each other Indiana Jones-style.
Once the cops showed up -- ironically enough, the same two who woke up Sleeping Beauty -- I found out the two greasers had also attacked the club kid's boyfriend across the street.
Downtown living at its finest.

Welcome to summer

2007-05-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

This is pretty much how I spent Tuesday afternoon.

Banff, baby!!!

2007-03-27T16:50:00.000-07:00

My brother was in Banff for the Canadian Snowboard Federation's final race of the year, so Andy and I packed into the Saturn for a springtime road trip. Julie was up there filming for school so we all met at Earls and had a wicked dinner. The highlight was John's tale about his buddy showing up for a job interview wearing soccer cleats. It's a classic...

I'm a pioneer

Jenny who?

The critters in Banff are frisky.

And we're out

2007-03-24T13:40:00.000-07:00

At approximately 7:37 p.m. last night, Andy uttered two words I'd been waiting four days to hear ... "I QUIT!!!"
Yup, looks like I'm the one with any measurable amount of self control or willpower and we're off the cleanse.
Turns out her dad's spicy sausage pasta with a rye and diet Coke chaser proved too tempting for my fair lady. The only crappy part is she quit AFTER I had eaten my bunless burger with a plain baked potato.
I did get to have a plate of the pasta later and will admit it was rather delicious. The first time in days I actually felt saphonsified.
Then we headed to the Yardhouse for numerous over-priced, celebratory beers followed by a stop at the gay bar for some dancing with James and Steve.
Maybe it was the half-week of cleansing, maybe it's just because Andy's a greenhorn, but I wasn't the one who got carried home and put to bed last night ...
Now that this little exercise is over, I'd actually recommend it. I did feel better after a few days of no wheat, dairy and sugar. And we did learn some cool new recipes for some healthy dishes. All-in-all, it wasn't that bad.

No longer all that bad

2007-03-23T16:28:00.000-07:00

Day 3 and things are looking up. Had a pretty good sleep last night (we switched the blankets so I didn't sweat my bag off) and I woke up this morning feeling a lot better. The dull headache is still there, but I'm not as snappy as I was yesterday. Dare I say I'm actually chipper today...
Although I'm growing tired of boiled eggs and potatoes for breakfast and last night's brown rice with our stirfry is still haunting me, I just might make it through this whole cleanse thing.
We'll see how this weekend goes though. Andy and I are heading to Banff to see my brother and there's a barbecue to be attended when we get back ... Temptation will be all around.

UPDATE

2007-03-22T20:31:00.000-07:00

Three days in and Andy has just reported her first "double-flusher."
Way to go!!!
As I'm unofficially one day behind, I'm now kinda looking forward to tomorrow.

Grrrrr

2007-03-22T19:47:00.000-07:00

With two days now under my belt, I'm feeling like the topic of the previous two posts ... shitty.
I'm not sure if it's the pills, drops or lack of delicious food, but I've had a headache since we started this cleansing process, and I NEVER get headaches, so it's kind of annoying. It's not so much a pounding pain, it's more of a dull ache in the background of my head, but I'd rather it went away. I also noticed that my temper is a LOT shorter than normal today. Heading in, it looked as though we weren't going to have to change out diets much ... Andy and I already eat fairly healthy. The only things we've really had to take out of our diet has been the sauces for meals and dressings for salads. Plus, no cereal in the mornings. But, after having a stirfry tonight, I've realized it's those sauces and dressings that make food good.
We also had to have brown rice instead of my favourite jasmine, which was kinda gross. It tasted a lot like cardboard ... not that I've downed a lot of boxes in my time. And the pills we have to take make me wanna barf. On the plus side, my gut feels a skonch smaller today!!!
Maybe this is just my short temper talking, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna last ... I'll give it my best shot, though.

We'll see.

A whiter shade of pale ...

2007-03-21T21:11:00.000-07:00

Here I sit, brokenhearted,
Paid my dime and only farted.
-- written on bathroom stalls everywhere

Day 1 and I have yet to meet Jesus, but I think I passed his little brother on the street.
Before venturing into this journey known as D-Tox, I heard stories of people having explosive diarrhea and shits so big that if they had arms, they could beat you in a fight.
So far, I haven't seen anything like that.
Normally, I'm a once-a-dayer and you could set a watch by me.
I was looking forward to having a huge "expulsion" but was left feeling somewhat disappointed.
I did deuce more, but not all at once. Four times, in fact, instead of the usual one. Let me tell you about it.
***Disclaimer***
The following paragraphs deal with graphic material not suitable for sensitive eyeballs. Read on at your own risk. You have been warned.
***End of disclaimer***
They weren't the biggest dumps I've ever had, which was a little disappointing, but that might be because I haven't eaten much over the last couple of days, what with being at work and having a limited menu to choose from.
What did appear, though, was a lot lighter in colour than normal and slightly thinner in its consistency. Not that I touched it to find out for sure, that was just from eyeballing (come on, who doesn't take a peek in the bowl every now and again) but it did look a little looser than usual. And to be honest, without getting tooooo descriptive, there were some things in there I didn't eat "recently," so maybe this cleansing thing is working after all.

I don't remember eating that!!!!!

2007-03-20T20:51:00.000-07:00

Yup, me and ol' Potty here are gonna get to know each other real well over the next week and a half.

Andy and I have gone the way of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan and entered D-Tox.

Only, instead of trying to rid our bodies of copious amounts of drugs and bad taste, we're looking to cleanse the bowels. Actually, Andy wants to cleanse the toxins out of her body, I just wanna see what the hell comes out of me.

Apparently, this stuff makes you shit so bad you'll meet Jesus himself and I'm looking forward to it. Ever hear those old wives tales that people carry around five to 10 pounds of waste in their colon and intestines??? well, I'm gonna put those to the test.

For the next 12 days, we can only eat out of this cookbook and have to take four pills, twice a day, along with a bunch of drops in our water. Apparently, it does clean out your liver (which mine could likely use) and kidneys and all that and leaves you feeling great.

My last supper on Monday was a Double Big Mac Meal so I'm anxious to see what happens and I'm gonna bring you along for the ride. I'll post an update each day on how things "progress".

Let the shitstorm begin.

Literally.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

2007-03-20T20:23:00.000-07:00

Phew!!! Good thing we had a little luck o' the Irish with us Saturday cause it was one helluva a ride. Dave, Kate, Andy and me took part in the first-ever, McLeod Trail-blazing Pub Crawl to celebrate the second greatest day of the year and things got WELL out of hand.

We went all out with a scavenger hunt (I think I might have won -- I was leading with 19 points when things started getting fuzzy) as well as a trivia portion.

Once we were about six pubs in, Steve met up with us and Jamie arrived soon after.

One of the last things I remember was arriving at Watchmen's for some shots and even MORE green beer. Then we headed to Mike and Aaron's for an after-party till 10 a.m.

The above is a pre-shot ... the afters are pretty good, but you gotta join Facebook to see them.

Boo freakin hoo

2007-02-28T21:59:00.000-08:00

Seperated at birth???

A sniveling Ryan Smyth met with the media before shipping off to join the New York Islanders on Wednesday afternoon and all I have to say is good riddance.
Why is it when athletes get traded, they parade themselves out in front of the cameras and whine about how sad they are to be leaving and how much they wanted to stay.
Smyth was acting as though he had no control over whether he remained with the only team he's played for in his 11 year NHL career.
Guess what Smitty -- YOU DID!!!
All you had to do was sign on the freakin dotted line.
Sources say Smyth's agent and Oilers general manager Kevin Lowe negotiated up until 20 minutes before Tuesday's trade deadline.
At issue (shockingly) was money.
Smyth reportedly wanted a multi-year deal worth as much as $5 million a season, up from the current $3.5 million per year he's getting now.
Geez, sounds like Smyth's got the same problems as Latrell Sprewell in that it's tough to feed your family on several million dollars a year.
I'm sorry, but if Smyth really wanted to stay with Edmonton, he would have stayed, simple as that. The fact is, he, like most other "professional" athletes, is greedy.

Now granted, the city of Edmonton sucks something ferocious and I'd hightail it out of there myself, but there's no way I'm gonna believe Smyth couldn't have stayed if he REALLY wanted to.
Once you get into the realm of making millions of dollars a year, what's a couple more when it means staying somewhere you want to be versus going somewhere you don't???

I bet when he gets to New York he'll have a big smile on his face and tell the reporters there how happy he is to be in the Big Apple.
Besides, he probably makes way more off album sales than he does playing hockey.

Valentine's (one scary ass) Day for guys

2007-02-13T19:58:00.000-08:00

For many women, today is considered one of the most romantic of the year.

It's a day when millions of women around the world will receive flowers, candy and affection simply for being the beautiful creatures that they are.

For many men, today is considered one of the most nerve wracking of the year.

It's a day when we're expected to deliver the flowers, candy and affection — or else.

Maybe it's the guy in me but I've often wondered what the point of Valentine's Day is. (Yes, ladies, I'm a hopeless romantic).

Have we gotten so lazy we need a specific day to show our significant other how much we care?

As a youngster, I remember Feb. 14 for two things.

One, I had to spend hours cutting and gluing makeshift cards then thinking of sappy notes for my classmates, all the while making sure I didn't leave anyone out, lest their feeling get hurt.

I usually went with the sure-fire "Be my Valentine" but sometimes I mixed things up and wrote "Happy Valentine's Day," just to keep things fresh. (Again, the hopeless romantic in me.)

The second thing I remember most is the bouquet of flowers that was delivered every year to the two beautiful women in our house, my Mom and sister, from the three men, me, my Dad and my older brother.

One important piece of advice my Dad imparted on his sons was that no matter what, always make sure you get flowers for the important women in your life on Valentine's Day.

Unless of course you like the silent treatment and sleeping on the couch.

Luckily, I have a beautiful girlfriend who, as a talented journalist herself, understands this isn't the highest paying profession one can choose to get into, and it really is the thought that counts when it comes to giving gifts.

A small bunch of tulips — her favourite — means just as much as a dozen roses, which usually seem to jump in price about this time of year ...

It's funny how that works, kind of like how high gas prices and long weekends seem to go together, too, but I digress.

To me, Valentine's Day is a lot like Christmas.

Even though most of us complain about the superficiality and commercialness of it all, we still take the white-knuckle trips to the mall on the last day possible to clean out the flowers shops and candy stores — not to mention our wallets — in an effort to make the ones we love happy. Instead, take a minute, look them in the eye, and tell them how you feel.

Then pray the flower delivery guy gets your address right.

Pig Willy

2007-01-24T19:09:00.000-08:00

So the Trial of the Century finally got underway in Vancouver this week with Pig Willy Pickton being tried for the murder of 26 prostitutes from the downtown eastside.This one is gonne be gruesome. It's gonna make Saw I, II and III look like Marry Poppins by comparrison. But Pickton's got Peter Richie for a defence lawyer and he's pretty good, so I wouldn't be surprised if they pull a pig out of their ass and he gets off.Sure the evidence is daming, what with all the severed heads and body parts found strewn about Pickton's farm and the fact a lot of the missing women's personal effects were found in his bedroom closet (what, those old things? I found them lying on the side of the road. No wait, I bought them at a garage sale...) But it's common knowledge the Pig Farm was frequented by hundreds, if not thousands of people over the years during after-hours parties at Piggie's Palace — Surrey mayor Doug McCallum even admitted he went to one — and other than his jailhouse confession, the evidence against Pickton is fairly circumstantial. It doesn't help he claims the women were never at the farm even though their dismembered bodies turned up there somehow, but it can be argued anyone could have dumped all those bodies. It may be harder to explain how all the blood and guts got into his trailer, but to the non-believers I have three words O—J—Simpson. Even the Air India bombers got off.And one thing that really bugs me about this whole thing is the missing women's family members going public saying how much they care and how the women didn't deserve to die like that.No they didn't. No-one does.But where the hell were you when your sister/mother/daughter was selling herself on the streets of Vancouver to feed a drug addiction??? We sure didn't hear any outrage then.And where are the family members of the women still working the streets and still feeding their drug habits???Sorry, but if one of my relatives ended up down there hooked on crack, you can bet your ass I'd drag them out by the hair if I had to.It looks to me like people only seem to care when they have a news camera and a horde of reporters in front of them.

Interesting

2007-01-02T20:51:00.000-08:00

I notice that Prime Minister Stephan Harper had the flag on Parliament Hill lowered to half mast in honour of former U.S. President Gerald Ford's passing, yet he refuses to do it to honour Canadian soldiers who give their lives for our freedom. Anyone else find that only slightly hypocritical? I can't wait for that clown to get turfed.

And the winner is ...

2006-12-07T09:17:00.000-08:00

John De La O, my former jiu-jitsu instructor and one heck of a cool guy, laid a beat down on Adrian Perez recently at King of the Cage -- Destroyer, winning by way of an arm bar.

Here's John chucking a few fists. See how his leg is over Perez's body and he's controlling the arm. Yup, the pain is a comin'. Congrats John.

Happy birthday

2006-12-03T11:32:00.000-08:00

So it was my sister's birthday celebration on Saturday and she had a hat/karaoke party at the Alcove. That's her on the right belting out a tune.

Freeze muthafucka

2006-12-03T11:29:00.000-08:00

Garth takes aim while playing a little Buck Hunter during my sister's birthday celebrations.

Attack of the rubber chicken

2006-11-16T18:43:00.000-08:00

Johnny K goes for the jugular against Phill.

More Halloween

2006-11-16T18:38:00.000-08:00

Ya, it's a little late, but I didn't want to be linked to Bill Maher, who by the way, stole my costume idea.

Hand in my pocket ...

2006-11-07T00:07:00.001-08:00

Halloween was a blast.
James No. 2 and Johnny K threw a ghoulish bash and things got predictibly out of hand. Here's Dave and Louis teaming up for one of the best costumes on the night.
More pics to come.

Happy Halloween

2006-11-05T00:02:00.000-08:00

This kid kicks arse ... Admit it, you thought this was G.W.Bush for just a second, But no, it's Karl.

Hiiiii-ya!!!

2006-10-14T02:04:00.000-07:00

My brother, John, is on tour in Europe with the Canadian snowboard team and sent back this pic of him laying the smack down on a stone lion's balls.

Happy Birthday to me

2006-10-09T22:59:00.000-07:00

So it was my birthday last week and things pretty much turned into a gong show. That's Jamie, Louis, me, Phill and Dave grappling for the last onion ring. If you wanna see the whole sequence of the night's events, check out my sister's page.
You gotta log in to see the goods.

Hello Karl

2006-10-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

Meet Karl Antonio Ermisch.
This little guy was born Sept. 22 to proud parents, and our good friends, Markus and Julia.
Karl was supposed to be born Oct. 3 (my birthday) which would have been cool, but he decided to show up a little early.
Congrats to the new family.

Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug

2006-10-09T22:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, it has been a while since my last post, but what the hell, I'm a busy guy.
So we had ourselves a little kegger a few weeks back, and you all know the first rule of keg parties ... KEGSTANDS!!!
The party started off innocuous enough, with some FOOD and LAUGHTER ... good times were being had by all.
Soon enough, everyone was drunk and the Kegstands began -- one side note, you may notice Kegstand is spelled with a capital K, that's because it deserves that much respect.
First up was DAVE. He's a big dude, so it took a few of us to hold him up, but he performed admirably.
Next up was CHRIS followed by PHILL, who had a little trouble keeping the beer in his mouth, but he was a trooper nonetheless.
Then came the girls, and BONNIE led things off, followed by her big sister VICKI.
Then Vicki's hubby ARNIE decided to get on the keg for a short speech ... it was his birthday after all ... but the speech was cut short by ARNIE'S alcohol-induced lack of balance.
Good times I tell ya.

White wedding

2006-09-05T14:58:00.000-07:00

Andy and I headed back to B.C. on the long weekend to watch as our good friends, Danna and Ken ... now Mr. and Mrs. Bach ... got hitched at Minter Gardens in Chilliwack.
It was a perfect day for a wedding and the bride looked gorgeous.

Beware of sharks

2006-09-05T14:50:00.000-07:00

Andy dips her feet in the Pacific Ocean

Herbie's ugly sister

2006-09-05T14:47:00.000-07:00

A group of tourists admire one of the zaniest cars I've come across on Robson Street in Vancouver. And yes, that thing on the hood ... it's a working water fountain.

Eastside of the West Coast

2006-09-05T14:41:00.000-07:00

No trip to Vancouver is complete without taking a breeze through the downtown eastside, considered the poorest zip code in the country. Here we see some peeps getting ready for another big day of doing meth and picking up crap to put in their shopping carts.

2006-09-05T14:38:00.000-07:00

This picture, taken my my buddy Markus, brings new meaning to "fish eye lens".

Eurotrip

2006-08-29T20:54:00.000-07:00

My buddy Jammers tore Europe a new asshole this summer and sent back THIS GEM of a video after visiting the Heineken factory.

Put me in coach

2006-08-28T22:55:00.000-07:00

I was ready to go at 5:55:26 a.m. Saturday morning.
At least, according to the time stamp on this photo I was.
We wrapped up the Slo-pitch season with our year-end tournament on the weekend and me and our star left-fielder Arnie prepped with a pre-game bonefire, much to the chagrin of his sleepy wife, Vicki.
Our heat-seeking pitchers, Dave and Jamie had already passed out after I laid a beating at the poker table, walking away $75 richer.
As for the tournament, the Locash Hustlaz lost all our games but we had fun doing it. We even won a $250 bat at the banquet for being the most entertaining team this season.

Funkdafied

2006-08-25T12:19:00.000-07:00

We headed to a cool pub, Michelangelos, downtown last night with my buddy Joe and his sister. It's a funky little place with mad drink specials. Wednesday nights is $3.50 doubles and Tuesdays is Beers From Around the World, where you can get Caffrey, the greatest beer ever, or one of 25 other imports for $2.95. Woot.

Getting ahead in Salsa

2006-08-24T13:25:00.000-07:00

No matter how many "stars" you put on the show, they'll never be able to do moves like Dr. Nima and his partner Tanya ... the sultrious duo on the salsa curcuit.

Mr. Green thumb

2006-08-24T13:23:00.000-07:00

Kenny Rogers may know how to hold em, but I knows how to grow em.

Morning mayhem

2006-08-24T13:18:00.000-07:00

This one of my favourite pics from Maple Ridge. Some genius jaywalker got nailed crossing the Lougheed Highway and this lady, who didn't know him, held his hand for 45 minutes in the rain while emergency crews saved his life.

Nothing butt HOT

2006-08-24T13:10:00.000-07:00

This is my good buddy Alex Buzas. We met in Maple Ridge while he was living on a boat ... yes, the one next to him ... and the municipality was trying to evict him. After hearing stories of how crazy he was, I rushed down to the river to meet him.
He was a nice enough guy, but wasn't much in the mood to chat that day, telling me he was going to poop in my backyard and that my mom drive him here from Russia.
At least he was entertaining.

Butt nuthin

2006-08-21T15:24:00.000-07:00

I'm not a smoker so I can't say for sure, but it seems to me the weight of a cigarette increases exponentially once it's lit.
So much so, once burned to the filter, the mass of that butt is too much for any mere mortal to carry.
How else do explain the seemingly endless amount of butts littering just about every part of the city???

City lights

2006-08-17T10:49:00.000-07:00

This is a cool shot I took a few weeks back from my buddy Joe's balcony. They've got quite the view.

Incoming

2006-08-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

This is how you park Alberta style.
A 29-year-old guy apparently decided driving on the road is for chumps and took a quick spin down the sidewalk on Fifth Avenue, injuring six people waiting at a bus stop.
The guy went for almost a block before careening into the post.
One side note, this is the same building I rode in an elevator with David Suzuki a couple weeks back.

Oooooh ya

2006-07-18T22:37:00.000-07:00

Former KTWer and proud Windsorite Greg Layson sent along this doozer... I think I might need to get off there at some point in my life, just to say I did.

2006-07-10T21:05:00.000-07:00

Here's a shot of the pond in my folks' backyard. My mom has spent more than 25 years making her spread one of the best in the city and it shows.

Giddy-up

2006-07-10T20:58:00.000-07:00

That's right folks, the annual Calgary Stampede is underway in Cowtown. Hundreds of thousands of wannabe cowboys and cowgirls have flooded the city - along with huge downpours of rain - for 10 days of the rootinest, tootinest time in the west.
We headed to the Stampede grounds for a few hours on Saturday to check out the exhibits, most notably the CF-18 Hornet brought in by Canada's finest. Somehow I don't think the Taliban are as impressed by our technology.

AT-TEN-TION

2006-07-10T20:56:00.000-07:00

Andy soldiers up at the Stampede.

On The Road Again

2006-07-10T20:53:00.000-07:00

Check this fly ride out. We came across this monstrocity while walking to the Stampede.

Home Sweet Home

2006-07-10T20:51:00.000-07:00

We headed back to the Loops for the Canada Day long weekend for some relaxing by the pool, beer gardens and ethnic food in Riverside Park.
Here's a shot of the house I grew up in.

And the thunder rolls ...

2006-06-22T16:04:00.000-07:00

A huge-ass storm rolled through downtown Wednesday night, just as we were leaving for Slo-pitch practise. Kinda felt like Miami for a few minutes, with the monsoon-like rains and heavy winds. When we got on the highway, people were stopping under overpasses to avoid dents from the huge hail. Luckily, we were going to the South and the storm stayed North.

Where Skittles come from

2006-06-22T16:02:00.000-07:00

Of course, at the end of every storm, there's a rainbow.

GO Lions GO

2006-06-09T11:47:00.000-07:00

Andy scored us a couple of tickets to the Stampeders final pre-season game against my B.C. Lions, which was a blowout. Dave Dickinson lead the Lions to a 57-13 romp in the rain. We left at the half because it was already 28-10 and our bums were cold from the metal bleachers. See Andy's great catch below.

Gotcha

2006-06-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

Andy made the biggest catch of the day, hauling in Serta Sheep No. 3. The guy throwing them hit her right in the numbers, a-la Dave Dickinson. We've nicknamed him Outrider, after the Stamps cheerleaders.

2006-06-09T11:34:00.000-07:00

The Stampeders are badass, they even have Rambo on their team this year.

Birthday buddies

2006-06-08T08:33:00.000-07:00

Hey look, Elbow Islands Park is the same age as me.

Ahhhhh

2006-06-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

Is this a sink hole or a black hole cause Andy almost got sucked in.

Rollin' with my homies

2006-06-07T12:50:00.000-07:00

The environmental laws in Alberta are a lot different than B.C. Unlike Vancouver, which has Aircare, you can pretty much drive any vehicle you want on the streets of Calgary, as evidenced by this van we came across during a walk last night. I wonder if it's driven by a bunch of hippies or a band of pixies, a-la Brad Pitt's crew in Snatch. Caption what nefarious acts are being perpetrated inside ...

Party time

2006-06-06T17:27:00.000-07:00

We headed to Hidden Valley, about an hour southeast of Calgary, on the weekend to help Jamie celebrate the Big 2-6 at his parent's cabin. The day started out with a game of Washers, followed by getting rip-roaring drunk around a fire then playing more Washers. I kinda remember playing both times, but have no idea whether I won or lost. However, I do remember having a heckuva good time.

Here's Jamie taking a shot during the afternoon round.

And here he is later that night. Notice any subtle differences???

Incoming

2006-06-06T17:25:00.000-07:00

Andy let's fly with a shot in Washers while Jamie and twin brother Jason look on.

Down boy!!!

2006-06-06T17:22:00.000-07:00

Jamie's parent's were looking after this dog and it launched a merciless assault.

Calgaaaary

2006-06-06T17:15:00.000-07:00

This is the view that would have greeted settlers as they arrived in Calgary nearly a century ago. You know, if they came from the west and the downtown core had already been built.

Downtown

2006-06-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

By special request, here's a shot of downtown from SAIT.

My neighbourhood

2006-06-01T16:17:00.000-07:00

Caption what nefarious acts are being committed in this house. It's only a few blocks away from out pad.

Festivus

2006-05-29T00:13:00.000-07:00

If May Long Weekend is the official start to the camping season, then the LILAC FESTIVAL, which we headed over to on Sunday, is the official start to festival season.
Basically, the city shuts down Fourth Street for about a kilometre and 125,000 people converge for music, drinks, food, and of course ... hundreds of tents set up by people hoping to sell you knick knacks and trinkets. We found some strong Jamaican rum drinks while listening to a cool flamenco band, then bought a big bag of popcorn.
There were plenty of effed up people too, which is evidenced by my photos.

Andy lays a high five on the Roughnecks mascot.

Arrrrrgh ... even pirates enjoy a good festival matey.

Security was tight, provided by the Knights Who Say Neet.

This lady wasn't taking any chances with the rain. I think she's a Katrina survivor.

The throng of people.

Hitting the Links

2006-05-22T12:28:00.000-07:00

The venerable James St. James hooked us up with a round at Woodside Golf Course on Sunday. I played the best golf of my life, scoring a respectable 48 on the front nine. James and Mike Repp tied at 36 each.
Here, James shows us how to knock a putt down from close range.

Fore

2006-05-22T12:21:00.000-07:00

I knock one down the fairway.

The foursome after, Mike, James, Andy and me.

Ooooops

2006-05-22T12:16:00.000-07:00

Alberta has some of the best drivers in the country.
We came across this doozy on Fourth Street while walking down to the park the other day.

Shitty

2006-05-20T13:37:00.000-07:00

Apparently, the sewer system in Calgary is important enough to warrant its own educational sign.

Kaboooom

2006-05-20T13:35:00.000-07:00

No, this isn't Iraq, it's pretty much what most of downtown Calgary looks like. Everything is getting ripped down to make way for condos.

Attack

2006-05-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

We took the Coop-meister for a walk through Princess Island Park today and he launched a merciless attack on some geese.

Then he spent some time inspecting a fire hydrant.

And posed for a photo with Andy.

BBQ time

2006-05-18T14:53:00.000-07:00

It hit 31 degrees yesterday, so a BBQ was in order, followed by sitting around a good ol' campfire at James No. 2's house in the Southwest. We also watched the Oilers sink the sharks and got treated to some delicious steaks, pasta and veggies. Mmmmmmmmmm ... let me tell you, they were delicious.

Doing some pondering

Phil, Katie, Louie and me

Taking a bite out of the fire

Louie, Andy and Sherry

Burn, baby, burn

James strums a tune

Viewing time

2006-05-16T22:12:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you recognize this skyline. I went for a bike ride today and headed to the viewing deck overlooking the city. I'm gonna head back soon and do some evening and silhouette-type shots.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

2006-05-14T11:06:00.000-07:00

Here's a shout-out to all the moms in the world, especially mine.
In honour of her special day, I'll recount one of my earliest, and favourite, memories of my mom.
My dad was away on business and Marj and us kids were busy making dinner. Dessert ended up being ready waaaaaay before the main course, a chocolate cake I believe, and we were hungry, so we had what my mom titled Backward Dinner Night ... we had dessert first, then the main course, followed by a salad.
I was only three or four at the time, but that meal has stuck with me my entire life.
I think it's because that was the first time I saw how much fun and imaginitive my mom is. Also, she showed us the importance of always making the best of every situation, no matter how good, bad or obscure.
Thanks mom, love ya.

I'm freakin RICH!!!!!

2006-05-14T10:49:00.000-07:00

I got this gem of an email the other day. No idea how the guy found me, but nonetheless, I'm freakin rich. By my calculations, I should pocket just over $2 million and when the cheque comes through, I'm taking everyone to Cuba. Woooooooooo.
Apparently, good grammar isn't a prerequisite for being a lawyer in Malaysia - or working for certian newspapers in the B.C. Interior.

Dear David Dormer,
My name is Mr. Edward Williams, a legal practitioner with Williams Law Firm in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I saw your contact and profile and decided that you could cooperate with me in this proposition.
I have a client who was deceased in November 2001, in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.I am contacting you because you have the same surname as my deceased client and i felt that you could help me in the distribution of funds that were left in my deceased client's bank account. This fund is close to been declared un-serviceable by the bank as there were no indicated next of kin or next of beneficiary of the fund in the bank account,having remained dormant for long.
The total amount of cash in the bank account of my deceased client is US$ 5.2 Million ( Say, Five Million, two Hundred Thousand United States dollars Only ),
The bank had issued to me a notification to contact the next of kin of my deceased client, either to re-activate the bank account or to make beneficiary claim, of the fund in the bank account, with a month surcharge of 6% to be deducted as an Escrow safe keeping fee of the bank account,so as to avoid the indefinite closure of the bank account.
My proposition to you is to seek your consent, and to present your kind self as the next-of-kin and beneficiary of my deceased client, since you have the same last name with him.
This means that the proceeds of his bank account would be paid to you as his next of kin or the legitimate beneficiary. When the proceeds in his bank account are paid to you, we would share the proceeds on a mutually agreed-upon percentage of 60% to me and 40% to your kind self.
All the legal documents to back up your claim as my client's next-of-kin would be provided by me. The most important thing I would need is your honest cooperation in this proposition.This would be done under a legitimate arrangement that would protect you from any breach of the law.
I will like u to acknowledge the reciept of this e-mail as soon as possible via my
E-MAIL :edwiliams1@gmail.com and treat with absolute confidentiality
and sincerity.
If this business proposition offends your moral and ethical values,feel free to decline this proposal. Please contact me at once if you’re interested by replying the mail.
Best regards,
Barr.Edward Williams Esq (SAM).

Click the link

2006-05-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

THIS GUY is a hero in my books. Basically, a guy in California named Ryan Hahn came into possession of a stolen memory card, which contained pictures of a two-year-old girl being molested. Hahn had to decide whether to turn the piece of shit in or not. Normally, that's a no-brainer, the only decision being do you repeatedly introduce his face to a shovel at high velocity first. But Hahn, 26, is a two-time offender, meaning a third felony conviction would get him life in prison.
Being a human being, Hahn decided to turn the card over to the authorities and John "Robbie" Robertson Aitken, a 22-year-old with no previous criminal record is now charged with molesting his infant goddaughter.
Hahn was later picked up on unrelated break and enter charges, but told investigators he was the one who turned Aitken in.
I'm encouraging everyone to email the Santa Clara County prosecutor's office at webmaster@da.co.santa-clara.ca.us or call (408) 792-2786 to encourage them to let Hahn off the life sentence on humanitarian grounds.
Hopefully, they'll show as much compassion for Hahn as he did for that little girl.

Cooper-roo

2006-05-08T17:04:00.000-07:00

Awwwww, isn't this sweet. We took some modelling photos with Andy's pooch Cooper on Saturday and this one turned out the best. Of course, this is the same dog Andy warned would "bite your face" the first time I visited Calgary.

Yeeeee-haw

2006-05-05T23:06:00.000-07:00

Happy Cinco De Mayo everyone, and while I'm at it, happy No Pants Day. That these two great holidays fall on the same day is no coincidence. When you're celebrating the fact the Mexican army actually won a major battle, even though it was over the French, you have to go hard. Hey, they haven't won much, just like the Canadian soccer team in international competition.
Anyway, we're getting krunked on the beer Jamie got for giving some dude free green fees.
I have to send a shout out to my dad too, as year No. 62 for the elder Dormer starts today at midnight. Without him, I wouldn't be here, literally. Loves that guy.

Burnout

2006-05-05T15:27:00.000-07:00

There was none of this on the Red Mile Wednesday night as the Flames fanned out against the Mighty Ducks and lost 3-0 in Game 7.
See you on the links boys.
They played so shitty, I thought the Vancouver Canucks had flown in, drugged the Flames, stolen their gear and hit the ice. It was terrible. Iggy was nowhere to be seen, Kipper got beat like a red-headed step child and Phaneuf, well, we've seen phaneuf of him.
To be honest. I didn't expect the Flames to go far this time around. I'm not saying 2004 was a fluke, but the Flames have about as much fire-power this season as the Iraqi army.
It's too bad, not because I'm now a Flames faithful, I was just looking forward to two months of parties mere blocks from my house. Damn.
Most people in Alberta will now be cheering for the Oilers but not me, I'm going with Ottawa. Wade Redden is going to lead them to glory.

(Pciture above was found using a Google image search)

Sing it sister

2006-04-30T13:27:00.000-07:00

We headed to a karaoke bar Friday night for my sister's going away party and Andy showed us not only can she read the news, she can sing too. This old guy was awesome and could have been Ozzy's dad. He did Crazy Train without looking at the words.

Forest would be proud

2006-04-28T11:11:00.000-07:00

Bored? Then check out THIS LINK for the Top 10 ping pong shots of all time. These guys would leave even the venerable Forest Gump, arguably one of the sport's greatest-ever players, trembling with fear.

2006-04-26T16:49:00.000-07:00

I went for a walk downtown today to hit the bank and look for a USB cable for my printer, but most of all to enjoy the sunshine. I came across this Jaguar with a red carpet next to it so I decided a pic was in order. I'm not really into cars so I have no idea what the hell. Would be nice to own a car this expensive though.

Incoming

2006-04-26T12:02:00.000-07:00

Here's my bro at this year's Winter Olympics in Turin, Italy, taking in a little bobsledding. He's the tech for the Canadian national snowboard team.

FINALLY!!!

2006-04-26T10:46:00.000-07:00

This is what Marc Crawford probably looked like Tuesday.
FINALLY, after months of doing nothing, Canucks manager Dave Nonis figured out his job is to be the GM and architect of the team and fired the underperforming coach. He had it coming. The Canucks stunk it up all year and all Crawford ever said was "we have to be more disciplined and play better."
Thanks Tips.
Any other steller observations to point out? The only thing that could have made it worse would have been to say "obviously" at the beginning of the sentence.
Ummmm, Mr. Crawford, shouldn't it have been you handing out said discipline? No wonder you got fired.
But it wasn't all Crawford this season. Markus Naslund is officially the worst leader in the history of sports, if not the world. I can't believe the Canucks put the C on that waste of a uniform instead of someone like Trevor Linden or even Jovo.
And don't get me started on that piece of crap Todd Ber-I'm a pussy and can only fight guys half my size from behind-tuzzi. Please, someone, find a shovel.

Calgary's hottest news anchor

2006-04-26T10:40:00.000-07:00

Here's Andy bringing the latest goings on in the world to the citizens of Calgary, and looking pretty damn good doing it.

Homey G

2006-04-25T15:40:00.000-07:00

This one is for Shawn. Ali G is da man.

When you gots to go, you gots to go

2006-04-25T15:35:00.000-07:00

The urge got a little too strong for Jamie on Friday night and he just couldn't wait. Too bad for the owner of this Cherokee.

Arrrrgh

2006-04-25T15:28:00.000-07:00

Andy, me and Jamie celebrating Andy's big day at Bob The Fish.

Happy Birthday Grils

2006-04-25T14:58:00.000-07:00

Man can they ever spull good over here in Alberta, especially the cake decorators at Dairy Queen. You'd think they were former layout people at KTW.
Anyway, we celebrated Andy and Shelly's birthdays over the Easter weekend with some delicious, albeit poorly scribed ice cream cake.
Andy's birthday, on 4-20, was a blowout. I got her 28 tulips as well as a gift certificate to get her hair done and a balloon, which was attached to the first round of Jagermeisters at Bob The Fish.

Fine form

2006-04-24T20:28:00.000-07:00

Andy throws another strike

About to strike out ... I mean throw a strike

2006-04-24T15:10:00.000-07:00

Notice the form, the concentration, the focus. Yup, I'm one helluva bowler. We went to a classy casino/bowling alley in the southeast Saturday night - and by classy, I'm talking New Jersey standards - to celebrate Andy, Dylan and Dave's birthdays. And this wasn't wussy, 5-pin bowling where you throw a softball. No ma'am, it was 10-pin all the way. Basically, I tore shiz up. Louie and I tied for first place overall in Game 1 with an untouchable score of 115. We were knocking down pins like the self esteem of a high school girl with a pimple on picture day. Game 2 was another close affair, as Vicki and I were battling for first place when time expired. She had quite the unorthodox style. It was deceiving, like when you can't figure out if someone is drunk or handicap, but the pins were going down as though there was a paycheck waiting and that's all that counts.

MMMMMM delicious

2006-04-11T16:58:00.000-07:00

This was my dinner on Tuesday before I devoured it.
There's lots of sushi places around here, and finding a good one can be tricky. I tried one place on 4th Street last night, but their rolls were tiny. The Gyoza was good, however.
One great thing about living in a city is the abundance of ethnic food. There's even an Ethiopian place right near us. Not sure if the menu includes more than muddy water and dirt but I'll be sure to post an update after my first visit.

Gotta love Google Earth

2006-04-10T22:23:00.000-07:00

If you haven't yet, download Google Earth. It's the coolest program on the net. I've been able to find just about everywhere I went in Europe and most of the places in Canada. The only thing that sucks is a lot of those places are smaller towns and cities, so the resolution isn't that great.
My favourite places to spy on are Baghdad and the West Bank. There's always crazy shiznit going on you can see. North Korea is also a good place to nose around.

Treeformers

2006-04-09T21:55:00.000-07:00

Don't mess with the trees in Alberta, they're badass. So much so, they have robots in them that come out and attack when they're cut down.

Good buying

2006-04-09T21:52:00.000-07:00

This convenience store is a mere one block from Jellystone. It's close, but a bit sketchy. Kinda dirty. Our place is right on the border of Crackville, and those residents seem to shop here too. At least they sell slushes.

Al Bundy beware

2006-04-09T21:49:00.000-07:00

I never was much good at spulling. I'm a bigger diva than Mariah Carey, so much so, they've named a store after me.
Notice the Cuban dance studio in the background, that's in honour of my mad skills.
Also notice the Flames hat perched atop my head. Resistance is futile.

Excuuuuuuuse me

2006-04-09T21:47:00.000-07:00

Looks like SOMEONE had mexican for lunch. Who would have thought two outhouses could do this much damage???
This (former) apartment building is through the parking lot and across the street from us. Good thing we didn't rent there!

What the F???

2006-04-09T21:45:00.000-07:00

Hey look, it's the Calgary Tower, but what the heck is this thing with all the birds in front??? There's lots of art in Calgary, but little of it makes sense to me. Andy and I drive by this on our way home all the time and all I can figure is the numbers on the birds is the order you're supposed to shoot them in.

They call me Fez

2006-04-09T21:34:00.000-07:00

So I gots me a job. Writing? nope. At a paper? nope. Doing communications? nope. I'm working at one of the biggest hair salons in Calgary. Yup, I'm the newest edition at Jerome, where my duties include folding towels and making foils for colouring. Too bad the Jerome in question isn't Iggy, but some of the Flames get their hair done here. No sighting yet. My friend Vicki is a colourist there and hooked me up. It's easy - I pretty much do laundry for four hours a day - but it's full of interesting people and I get to listen to lots of gossip. Sometimes I even put money in the meter for customers. I make enough to pay the rent so it'll do for now. I'm only there for a few weeks until I get a "real" job in my field ... I hope!!!

Johnny Walker's got nuthin on Cash

2006-04-09T21:31:00.000-07:00

We were thinking about making this pub our local because it has a cool name and is closer than Bob The Fish, but it didn't cut the mustard. We went in on Friday night and it was the Kitsilano of Calgary. Lots of schmucks in suits looking important. Remember the Wall Street guys Vin Diesel nearly had to shitkick at the bar in Knockaround Guys? they would hang out at A Bar Named Sue.

Gone Fishin

2006-04-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

This pub is fast becoming our regular haunt. Good beers, good prices and lots of big screens to see the game. You can't go wrong with nine cent wings!!! Jamie and I are working on getting some VIP passes for playoffs too (I had no idea you could get VIP at a pub, but apparently we're close).
Their beer, Blowfish, is comparable to Kokanee and it's only two blocks from home. Makes for a short stumble.

The Jellystone

2006-04-09T21:23:00.000-07:00

This is our place, the Jellystone. Really it's called the Yellowstone, but I've taken to refering to it as the Jellystone. Not after the über-famous Canadian rapper, it's after Yogi Bear, as he and I share a love of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Unlike Yogi though, I'm not a Godless killing machine.
The place is great. Hardwood floors and plenty o' closet space. The balcony doesn't hurt either. But the best part is the fact we don't share walls with neighbours. That means no having to listen to a two-year-old's constant screaming or her mom yelling about breakfast being ruined.

I'm a landscaper too

2006-04-06T23:23:00.000-07:00

While living in Maple Ridge over the past few months, I met lots of people who described themselves as a "landscaper." That's the PC way of saying you're the best kind of farmer there is.
I got the chance to go into a home owned by a "landscaper," to take pics for the paper, which one cop told me he thought was linked to Asian gangs, because of "the large amount of rice found in the kitchen." I believe the name on his badge was S. Holmes.