You're still here?

Before I was so rudely interrupted ...
And we're back.
It's been a while since the last post so why not return with an inside joke. A bit of an homage, shall we shay, to the people who've helped make sure I didn't give up on achieving my goals, no matter how many pinheads stood in the way.
It's been an interesting past few months, to say the least, but my years of slogging uphill both ways in the snow with no shoes appear to be over.
Sunny times are afoot, so to speak, and life is starting to resemble the sweet beach of my dreams ...
Ashton Kutcher couldn't have planned a more elaborate twist of events than the ones I've seen since June.
In Bizarro Jerry fashion, days after leaving one of the worst gigs I've had yet (and I've seen some crap in my days) a phone call came out of the blue offering me the job I've been slogging 10 years for.
It was weird enough that there's a good chance the CIA was involved.
An interesting sidenote for conspiracy theory fans, The Bizarro Jerry episode originally aired on my 21st birthday, coincidence ... or not? someone call George Noory

Morning Sunshine

I'm no expert on the migratory patterns of scruffy, homeless people, but I'm starting the think my front steps are smack dab in the middle of a good route.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact our dumpster is better-stocked than most thrift stores or they're drawn by the sweet, sweet smell of burning herbs, but for whatever reason, I've had to call the cops on no less than three occasion this week.
Take Sleeping Beauty (above) who decided my front steps was the perfect spot for a mid-afternoon nap. Him and his buddy rolled up and bedded down for a quick bit of shut-eye, but not before spitting about 300 times and hiding an empty bottle of rice wine. His accomplice left before the fuzz arrived and was still at large at the time of this post.
A few days before this incident, Andy and I arrived home to find four meth-heads sitting on those same steps smoking up and they were as entertaining as they were disease-ridden. Of course, one of the "ladies" didn't want to leave because "as you can see I have a broken ankle and we're waiting for a ride."
i was surpised how articulate she was, given the fact she was doing the tell-tale meth-dance and looking everywhere but at me.
But that's nothing compared to what happened about 3 a.m. on Tuesday.
I heard a loud bang, then looked out to see two, greasy looking guys brawling with a dude whose look can be summed up in two words -- club kid.
And by brawling, I mean they had their belts off and were whipping each other Indiana Jones-style.
Once the cops showed up -- ironically enough, the same two who woke up Sleeping Beauty -- I found out the two greasers had also attacked the club kid's boyfriend across the street.
Downtown living at its finest.

Welcome to summer

This is pretty much how I spent Tuesday afternoon.

Banff, baby!!!

My brother was in Banff for the Canadian Snowboard Federation's final race of the year, so Andy and I packed into the Saturn for a springtime road trip. Julie was up there filming for school so we all met at Earls and had a wicked dinner. The highlight was John's tale about his buddy showing up for a job interview wearing soccer cleats. It's a classic...

I'm a pioneer


Jenny who?



The critters in Banff are frisky.

And we're out

At approximately 7:37 p.m. last night, Andy uttered two words I'd been waiting four days to hear ... "I QUIT!!!"
Yup, looks like I'm the one with any measurable amount of self control or willpower and we're off the cleanse.
Turns out her dad's spicy sausage pasta with a rye and diet Coke chaser proved too tempting for my fair lady. The only crappy part is she quit AFTER I had eaten my bunless burger with a plain baked potato.
I did get to have a plate of the pasta later and will admit it was rather delicious. The first time in days I actually felt saphonsified.
Then we headed to the Yardhouse for numerous over-priced, celebratory beers followed by a stop at the gay bar for some dancing with James and Steve.
Maybe it was the half-week of cleansing, maybe it's just because Andy's a greenhorn, but I wasn't the one who got carried home and put to bed last night ...
Now that this little exercise is over, I'd actually recommend it. I did feel better after a few days of no wheat, dairy and sugar. And we did learn some cool new recipes for some healthy dishes. All-in-all, it wasn't that bad.

No longer all that bad

Day 3 and things are looking up. Had a pretty good sleep last night (we switched the blankets so I didn't sweat my bag off) and I woke up this morning feeling a lot better. The dull headache is still there, but I'm not as snappy as I was yesterday. Dare I say I'm actually chipper today...
Although I'm growing tired of boiled eggs and potatoes for breakfast and last night's brown rice with our stirfry is still haunting me, I just might make it through this whole cleanse thing.
We'll see how this weekend goes though. Andy and I are heading to Banff to see my brother and there's a barbecue to be attended when we get back ... Temptation will be all around.

UPDATE

Three days in and Andy has just reported her first "double-flusher."
Way to go!!!
As I'm unofficially one day behind, I'm now kinda looking forward to tomorrow.

Grrrrr

With two days now under my belt, I'm feeling like the topic of the previous two posts ... shitty.
I'm not sure if it's the pills, drops or lack of delicious food, but I've had a headache since we started this cleansing process, and I NEVER get headaches, so it's kind of annoying. It's not so much a pounding pain, it's more of a dull ache in the background of my head, but I'd rather it went away. I also noticed that my temper is a LOT shorter than normal today. Heading in, it looked as though we weren't going to have to change out diets much ... Andy and I already eat fairly healthy. The only things we've really had to take out of our diet has been the sauces for meals and dressings for salads. Plus, no cereal in the mornings. But, after having a stirfry tonight, I've realized it's those sauces and dressings that make food good.
We also had to have brown rice instead of my favourite jasmine, which was kinda gross. It tasted a lot like cardboard ... not that I've downed a lot of boxes in my time. And the pills we have to take make me wanna barf. On the plus side, my gut feels a skonch smaller today!!!
Maybe this is just my short temper talking, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna last ... I'll give it my best shot, though.

We'll see.